Deciding to perfect myself.

Had an interesting thought tonight.  I'm proud to say it's not a chemically induced one.  I was thinking about death tonight, and how close I could be to it, not knowing what each moment holds.  Obviously it's not just me, anyone of us could be gone tomorrow.

Everyday we're getting one day closer to death.  If all I do is have fun all the time, where will I be when I am 70?

If I only live to be 35, and I've worked too hard to have been happy with the short time lived, how will that feel?

Since we can't know what will come next, after this life, it's important to make the most of this one.  I can't imagine sitting around over-contemplating death is the best use of my time.  So I started over-thinking life.

If I were end up having a shorter-than planned life, I'm not going to know it too far in advance. So maybe the feeling of setting goals, and accomplishing them to be on track to be that person I am proud of when I'm 70 will be the best I can feel. And who am I kidding, it's easy for a guy like me to find time here and there to really enjoy myself.

I need to "get started". Right now, I feel like I've just gotten lucky.  Fate favors me for some reason.  Maybe I'm just extra likable, which some people would claim, or maybe I have so much potential, that the successes I have seen so far is a reelection of a rough, uncut and polished diamond. 

I like the diamond analogy.  While the rough, uncut diamond still has value, and can stand out compared to other rough, uncut stones, it's value greatly increases with time, effort, and a highly focused hand perfects it.  Maybe some that have been around me have seen my potential, as a diamond expert would of an uncut stone, but it's up to me to perfect myself.

What I really have to do now, is commit to doing it.  Not just know I have to, and plan on it.  I have to decide to do it.  It's overwhelming, but not more overwhelming than I am underwhelmed with where I am at now that I am 26.

I'm going to revisit this Sunday.  Tomorrow is Saturday, and I'm headed to Lagoon with some friends.  Tomorrow will be a very nice "uncut" day.  Sunday will be a good chance to sit down, think, plan, research, plan, set some goals, plan, and most importantly, decide.  A decision takes 2 seconds.  I'm going to decide. The fun part is, perfecting myself could end up being a whole list of different things. I'm excited to see what changes I want to make. Don't be surprised if you get to know a different kind of Derek. Don't be scared of him. He'll be just as new and different to me too.